Hair Gott!

Hair Gott


These Czech folks worship a strange God. (They call them Gotts) I reckon it’s kind of like them Catholics got them Saints, you know a different one for everything.) But apparently the hair Gott is the one for desperation. Every time they get into a situation where things is just too much, they throw up their hands and say, “Hair Gott!”

I got (ha ha) to a wondering just what a Hair Gott was exactly so to speak. I did some digging around it it turns out that it might be Herr gott, which is German for Mister, although here a Mister is a champion and a Pan isn’t for cooking but for Mr,ing like we do back home. But this ain’t Germany and ain’t been for 63 years. Or 90 years since it was really full-time Austria-idiot ruled. (The Czech word for hungry is Magor, which means stupid, or idiot. I guess smart people keep themselves well fed around these parts.) The history around here is so confusing it could make you throw up your hands and say, “Hair Gott!”

I thought I was making progress in figuring this all out and then on the news I seen the Hair Gott himself! Seems some young American hadn’t yet figured out how to drive around these parts and went and crashed into Hair Gott’s car.

Driving around these parts is interesting. Basicly you put the gas pedal to the floorboard and never let up. People pass into oncoming traffic on a two-lane highway, over hills, on blind corners, it just don’t matter. Back home you could sell tickets to sit alongside a Czech highway and watch the action. It’s got (ha ha) figure 8 racing beat all to heck. There ain’t no roller-coasters in this country. They don’t need none. You want the bejeebies scared out of you, just get a Czech to give you a lift somewheres.

So, this American probably slowed down or stopped at a light or something like that and caused an accident. There were pictures on tv that showed Hair Gott and he weren’t holding no grudges and said the American probably just didn’t know no better. But then it dawned on me! His hair was perfect. Even after an accident it looked just right. You know like Elvis had hair that was just right, so does this Hair Gott.

Then I went to searching on the internet and found out that this Hair Gott was really the Czech Elvis! It all sort of fit together then. And this Gott was famous in the old East Germany! So that’s why they say Hair, or Herr. They sound the same and nobody bothers to spell it out, so it’s darned near impossible to know. But, they don’t say Pan Gott. That much I know.

BTW, here's a picture from his site:


www.gottland.cz
It ain't like disneyland or even Dollywood though.