Svejked

When I first moved over to here, I was told about Svejk. It was the Czech national war hero. I figured it was an action type thing, but it sure weren't. It was the opposite. In other words, so to speak, Svejk ain't no Audie Murphy. He's more of a Gomer Pyle. And since it was written by Hasek, the goal keeper, it's entirely possible that's where the inspiration came from.

But, since the Svejk craze has done took hold, it's just spread and spread. Svejk has become a role-model. Just you close your eyes and imagine Gomer Pyle being what everybody thinks is the best you can do. Well, that has happened here. A nation of Svejks has arisen. I had a problem with my sell phone, so I went where they selled it to me and they couldn't help me. Then they told me to go to the operator, who all 5 of told me to go back to the store. Then the internets done said go to the store, who went and said, yup, but not this store! This is Svejkism. It's how the country is run. Everything is Svejked up.
(Quick note about the Oxygen stores. For some durned reason, Oxygen shops sell phones. The Oxygen shops are the worst managed most Svejked up phones in the country. I ain't never heard nobody say nothing good about them! They should have stuck to Oxygen. With the season of inversions upon us, there is a definite need for it!)

You have a problem with your sink and they send the guy over to fix it. He don't do nothing that lasts more than 2 days. Then you figure it out. Shucks, he ain't never going to fix it! He's just going to Svejk off until you get sick and tired and fix it yourself, or try to out Svejk him. But you better be ready to get flooded and stunk out from overflowing toilets and leaky sinks to out Svejk a Czech. Their house ain't all Svejked up. No, just where they work, or Svejk about to make some money is all that's Svejked up.

Yup, if you is going to live here, you better just come to the understanding that you is going to have to take care of everything yourself, except for most things that you need a license to do, then you have to have a Svejk come and Svejk about for a month or two to do a 5 minute job. But, it'll just be Svejked up and he'll have to come back again 5 more times for a couple of years before you just say, Svejk it!!!!! But there you got no choice, because the Svejk laws protect Svejkism.

Sometimes, I think this country is just Svejked beyond repair. The commies thought the same thing. Uncle Ivan was here for awhile and they tried their hand at unSvejking things. They invented a new guy, Jarda Cinnamon to be a new hero. Jarda was supposed to get the Czechs pumped up and ready to do something right and be productive. O'l Cinnamon was a smart feller who invented just about everything. He took credit for all the things the “West” done invented, like electricity and cars and television, etc... It's all part of propoganda. You see, Ivan wanted everybody to think how the commies were the smart guys, so Jarda was super-smart. Einstein and company were just ripping off ol' Mr. Cinnamon!

But, it didn't work out too well. The commies is gone and Cinnamon is still around, but the real hero remains Svejk.