Czech drivers, open letter!!!!!!!

DoperCHEESE! Ty parcan’ts! (not a par, but I reckon about a million)

Ty Bulb! (very dim 2 watt dusty one at that!)
Well, there may be some polite company around, so my opinions might need to be Dřed down.

Look. I don’t know who in the peklo taught you to drive, but this here ain’t the Talledega 500,000 km race! I don’t care how fast your Skoda 120l gx goes. I do give a darn if you kill one of my students or friends. I do care if you crash into a bus stop and wipe out two dozen baby prams (sometimes I like them Brits. Much easier than carriagesss.)
Your pecker don’t grow by a millimeter for every 10kmp you go quicker than the speed limit! I don’t know who started that there pohadka, but well, let’s just say he don’t want to meet me no more than that old fat guy wanted to go a few rounds with Krkanoš! It’s what they call an urban myth on the internet! It ain’t true! (nor does it have those pivornice guys like that Urban guy draws in tlinky blinky.)

Just slow down. Look out your window and relax. Life ain’t a race to the graveyard, and you might be dissappointted by the prize. Nobody is impressed that you can drive through a village at 80kph.
If you want to be impressed, I know at least 10,000 lidi who want to impress your face with a big ol’ piece of wood. Please leave your name and address if you want us to show you.