My first letter home way back when

This brings back memories!
written home back in the last century

Dear Mom and Dad:Well, I've been here in Prag( that's how they write it here, sometimes you see Praha, but I think that's german) a week now. It sure is different than Pumpkin Seed. They got McDonald's here too, but you gotta pay for catsup! People put tartar sauce on their fries here. I guess that's cause catsup is so expensive. Now sit down and hold on to your hat cause you ain't gonna believe this. Are you ready? They sell beer here in McDonald's. It's called McPivo. I reckon that pivo is the brewery, like we got Pabst. Now I know I promised you I wouldn't go and get all drunk over here, and I ain't. But I did have one. Let me tell you, one was enough. It's real filling. Give me a Miller lite anyday.They got an underground railway here, just like on tv. You go down these escalators, and then down some more, (boy I sure wouldn't want to be down there if there was a big heavy rain) and there's trains. They come every few minutes and whisk you right along. It sure is something. Lots of Gypsies on the train, but they ain't playing violins or telling fortunes. They sure are friendly though. Always patting you all over. I guess that's their custom.I went and seen that Charlie's bridge. Shoot, it ain't nothing much. It's only a few yards high. Heck, it only takes a second for your spit to hit the water! It long neither, no more than a ouple of football fields. It looks like it's real old too. I wouldn't trust it to hold up a semi. There are lots of statues on it. Generals and such I reckon. I went up the hill to see the castle, but it don't like no castle I ever saw a picture of. There ain't no moats or drawbridges or nothing. Must have been built by the reds! King Havel lives there. Vaclav the second they call him. There was another Vaclav not too long ago. I guess Eurpoe ain't so big. I saw plum to Paris the other day. It was a clear day, normally you can't see that far. I ain't lying neither when I tell you a saw the Efil Tower. Plain as day. Better not tell Gampa this, but I know he said the wiped out all those Nazis in the big one. Well, they missed some. I saw a group of them walking down the street and they was in uniform too. No use getting him all worked up. I know how he can get, especially if he's had a belt or two. Next thing you know he'd be grabbing his shotgun and flying over here to finish the job.Speaking of belts, some of the Czechs I met took me out to the country to meet their kin and skin a hog. The grampa, his name was Deda, had himself a still just like our grampa. The word for shine here is slivovica. Well, they was a just all throwing it down, the women folk too. I had a couple too, just to be socialable. It tastes kind of funny. I think they use a different kind of corn or something.We had some sausage, and this black soup called prdel something. I forget the word. The Granny, her name was Bobbi, she sure could cook and the food just kept a coming. We had dumplings, but they ain't the same as back home. But they was good. That reminds me, they ain't got sliced bread here, you got to do it yourself.Well, I gotta go. Tonight we're going to the trade school for some kind of party. I think it's for the technicians, but they just said technoparty .. tomorrow we're going to the movies to see this Czech war hero. I guess he's like John Wayne or Arnie. His name is Svek