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Dear Sluggo and the boys at shop,

You might not believe me this time, but I done uncovered American slaves! Yes siree. They passed this new law about schlinkys and how they can travel. But for some reason it means Americans can’t go nowhere without a Visa ™ © card!

If you ain’t got a Visa ™ © don’t bother coming cause it can mean a heap of trouble! Well, to cut to the chase of the matter. I was out hunting for mushrooms cause it’s been real warm this year. Our President says it’s cold like every year and from his window he sees snow all over the place and everything is like normal. He says things ain’t getting warmer ain’t never been no damage to nature from no factory or he’d have known and he don’t know nothing so it ain’t happened. Well, I been fishing here in the river and let me tell you, well a fish ain’t supposed to like this! (artist impersination)

see above

Didn’t have no camera so I had to sketch it out there. Oh yeah, so i was hunting some mushrooms and I seen this crazy looking feller hiding under a bush. He couldn’t speak no Czech except for kind of wimpering, “I no Rose a mean” You know, I don’t care about plants one way or the other unless it’s Kudzu so i figured i done cornered a vegan. They’s people who protect vegetables and never hurt no plants. I was thinking, “Darnit! A mushroom is a plant and this cityslicker is out here to stop me from hunting!” But his English was a bit awkward. It should have been, “I ain’t a rose meaner.” You learn these things when you been teaching as long as I have.

But then the feller just starts crying and wailing away. Heck, I hadn’t even stepped on a toadstool, let alone killed a mushroom. But then I see that he was a little upset about something. He asked me if I spoke English and I said enough to get by. Then he tells his tale.

To make it short and bypass the wallering and blubbering. Seems Czech traders is putting adverts in school newspapers back home about teaching here. Then they get the young’uns to spend a bunch of money on a teaching license, and then give them a job. After that they hold their money and tell them it’s for taxes and to pay off their Visa ™ © Card. Then they tell them they is illegal immigrants and they will go to prison and work in the buchty quarry if they don’t cooperate. So these folk have to teach English for ten years to leave and go home. Except they don’t go home! They get shanghied and sent to China!

Hard to believe it, but that’s the way it is over here if you ain’t careful. Be sure to pass it on about what’s going on here!