My trigger finger was getting swollen up and a strange looking thing was growing on it, maybe a wart. But I ain't been near a toad in ages. I heard duct tape will cure them and I wish I had tried, but this thing was growin pretty quick and even slivervice weren’t helping none, so you know it was bad. I tried applying it from the outside and the inside.So I went to visit Dr. Raw, the surgeon. Actually, he doubles as local bone-setter too. He’s the only act in town if you need cutting or casting. As I walking up the stairs, I hear a little girl screaming in pain and the hair on back stood straight up like a cat! The I got to the top of the stairs and was relieved to notice the screams were coming from the other side. It was short lived though, that’s where the eye doctor was!
I sat down and waited with the other folks and it was quieter than a church on Monday. The folks was all looking around kind of avoiding looking at anyone. Then a homeless feller walked in, kind of shuffling his feet. As luck would have it, he sat right next to me. I reckon he was trying to get in out of the cold, it was –10 out, but I was sweating bucketfuls!
Then it was my turn. He asked me some questions but he was in a hurry so he was speaking too fast for a foreigner to have a hope. Then he took me into the next room and numbed up the finger by shooting it 5 times right in the tenderest nerves he could find. Like I said, he was in a hurry so he wasted no time for them injections to work. He sliced that thing off in a heartbeat and then saw it was growing under the nail too.
You remember Great Uncle Levi telling us about how the Japs captured him and tried to make him talk? Well, I know what he went through. Doc Raw then decided I need a shot up under my fingernail all the way to the first knuckle. I thought I was going to holler like a loose fan belt, but then he brought out the pliers and ripped the fingernail off right by the roots! I bit down so hard my teeth got pushed up into my gums and I’m still havin trouble chewing my food. Then he moved on to the next victim, er patient. He made me keep on laying there for 15 minutes until I could gather my wits back. I happened to glance over at the tray next to me and there it was, my fingernail with some meat still attached.
I Had to go back the next day and the nurse just unwound that that thing as quick as she could, only taking a breather to watch me putting fingernail holes into the windowsill. When thing got down to the last two layers where the blood had dried holding it on to all them nerves I just about lost it. If the Japs had tried that one on old uncle Levi, I bet he'd have talked!
So now I’m in the hospital trying to get my back straightened out. Went to Dr. Heddi in town, but she just used me as a pincushion trying different concoctions,, but they didn’t work. I gave up on it
The foods not too good, what there is of it. I can’t complain, I ain’t none too hungry for food anyhow. My neighbor’s so bad the nurses have offered me sleeping pills so I don’t have to listen to him whine all night. That kinda pisses me off since I done went and bought the first class package, a private room so as not to have to put up with this kinda of crap. There goes my back again! Thanks Commarade Sperk!. Also the art is kind of lame. I don’t know who bought it, but I reckon he’s somebody’s relation that needed a job. In my room there’s a big photo, 24x48 big,
Of a little black in pigtails, holding an empty can of white paint upside down over her head. I can’t figure out what the heck it is. Somebody made money on it too, that’s the worst thing about it.
This ain't near the end, so wait for part two.
